Ok, we'll make this short and sweet, since we know you're busy. Heck, we're busy. Huff's boat needs a good waxing. Below you'll find the coolest safety vest in the world that's perfect for not only the job site, but also the next Jimmy Buffett concert.

Here go some strong selling points we came up with:

  • ANSI Class II ultra-lightweight fluorescent polyester mesh safety vest
  • Each shirt is handcrafted, and no two are alike
  • They're highly reflective so you'll be seen from far away
  • They are made with heavy-duty construction
  • We use "genuine" fake wooden buttons
  • Huff is a sailing expert (he's just bragging now)
  • They're available in two fashionable colors: Orange You Safe and Mello Yello
  • You'll be helping Huff out tremendously to save for his next vacation
  • You'll boost his ego enough to come up with even more great ideas (yeah, they laughed at Einstein at first)
  • Available in sizes Small through 5X

Other reasons to get our shirts:

  • Makes for a unique gift around the holidays
  • You've heard of Casual Friday? Start a new trend with Hawaiian Safety Shirt Friday.
  • 4 out of 5 Safety Foremen recommend Hawaiian Safety Shirts for their crew (Source: N.A.D.S. The National Association for the Development of Shirts)



The Hawaiian Safety Vests

The Vest
- Is an ANSI Class 2 (popular with ambassadors and visiting dignitaries) has no sleeves, and is “island breeze friendly” polyester mesh, with a zipper and a breast pocket and an inner pocket to stash those messages that you found in a bottle. Your color choice, without paying tribute to the materials acquisition gods, is all of 2- yellow (aka lime) with orange flowers or orange with white flowers.  Zat’s it for now until I can find some young women folk to join the team, kick those elves out and make things a little cheerier around here.


Tika & Tonic- The Safety Sisters

Tika & Tonic- The Safety Sisters

Pick your pleasure- Mello Yello or Orange You Safe...for only $20 each! (plus minimal shipping costs, Safety Sisters not included, but write if you want to become a fan, or something platonic, no fluid exchange available, at this time)

Mello Yello Hawaiian Safety Vest back view at night Mello Yello Hawaiian Safety Vest front view

Night Vision Preview*
(this is what you will look like after sunset)



(Credit cards, PayPal, and bank drafts on coconuts accepted)


Safety Shirts With Sleeves Go Bye Bye

(no longer available, vests only, until next eruption)

If you don’t see what you need try clicking here and see what happens. Wishes can come true.




Size Chart

(approximation via inches chest diameter- most sizes are “regular” in length, yet increase, usually, in length, as they increase in overall size (we’ll get that gut covered, yet).  If you need to convert to metric I am hoping math is one of your strong suits.  We just use “muumuu” philosophy and get something big enough to cover most all.  Also note that every piece is handmade so there are no real good reasons for returns as it may upset some demigods.  That being said, we can discuss forms of appeasement as the situations avail themselves (you got bigger than you thought, etc...). 

Note that the Small size of the regular vest is a couple of inches longer, proportionately, for some reason that eludes me, from my manufacturer - so, if you are a "thin, lanky" type it is perfect, but if you are a short person I recommend ordering a Medium size and dealing with a little more width

small (possible wahine territory, for gods and goddesses alike) up to 38

medium (Kahuna) up to 40

large (big man in canoe) up to 46

XL (getting into Kamehameha turf, here) up to 52

(Is that you, Papa Oom Ma-Mow-Mow?) up to 56

(you are a local god) up to 60

(natives notice seismic activity when dancing) up to 64

(affect local weather patterns; occasionally mistaken for volcano) something past 64


Note: These sizes consider being worn over a work or T shirt or very light jacket, and production variations.


Note that sales tax, which can be quite a bite-out-of-the-coconut, is included (big good deal) in accordance with island laws.


International shipping may be more depending on location and frequency of boats from mainland.