Big Special Deal- $20 for the vest!
Ok, we'll make this short and sweet, since we know you're busy. Heck, we're busy. Huff's boat needs a good waxing. Below you'll find the coolest safety vest in the world that's perfect for not only the job site, but also the next Jimmy Buffett concert.
Here go some strong selling points we came up with:
- ANSI Class II ultra-lightweight fluorescent polyester mesh safety vest
- Each shirt is handcrafted, and no two are alike
- They're highly reflective so you'll be seen from far away
- They are made with heavy-duty construction
- We use "genuine" fake wooden buttons
- Huff is a sailing expert (he's just bragging now)
- They're available in two fashionable colors: Orange You Safe and Mello Yello
- You'll be helping Huff out tremendously to save for his next vacation
- You'll boost his ego enough to come up with even more great ideas (yeah, they laughed at Einstein at first)
- Available in sizes Small through 5X
Other reasons to get our shirts:
- Makes for a unique gift around the holidays
- You've heard of Casual Friday? Start a new trend with Hawaiian Safety Shirt Friday.
- 4 out of 5 Safety Foremen recommend Hawaiian Safety Shirts for their crew (Source: N.A.D.S. The National Association for the Development of Shirts)
Safety Vests
(vests ship faster than Safety Shirts with sleeves)
The Vest- Is an ANSI Class 2 (most chosen style, popular with ambassadors and visiting dignitaries) has no sleeves, and is “island breeze friendly” polyester mesh, with a zipper and a breast pocket. Your color choice, without paying tribute to the materials acquisition gods, is all of 2- yellow (aka lime) with orange flowers or orange with white flowers. Zat’s it for now until I can find some young women folk to join the team, kick those elves out and make things a little cheerier around here.
Tika & Tonic- The Safety Sisters
Pick your pleasure- Mello Yello or Orange You Safe...for only $20 each! (plus minimal shipping costs, Safety Sisters not included, but write if you want to become a fan, or something platonic, no fluid exchange available, at this time)
Night Vision Preview*
(this is what you will look like after sunset)
(credit cards, PayPal, and bank drafts on coconuts accepted)
Safety Shirts
(sleeved version made to order, ship a bit slower)
Vest With Sleeves- for those that work in other than tropical climates, need a more solid weave, upper arm cover, and more pockets- it is more material, and an ANSI Class 3, ergo more expensive- add $10 and hope that the elves that are in the factory haven’t had too much fermented papaya lately and medications have been taken as prescribed. Be forewarned that odd things have ended up in those extra pockets. Available in yellow (aka lime) or orange (aka orange)
Mello Yello or Orange You Safe
Hawaiian Safety Shirt
$30 ($5 shipping & handling)
(credit cards, PayPal, and bank drafts on coconuts accepted)
If you don’t see what you need try clicking here and see what happens. Wishes can come true.
These are selling
like hotcakes!
Random needy
customers
will
receive a
3 x 5 logo sticker
for their hard hat!
If you are feeling rich ($100 each) and have lots of time on your hands (takes 3 to 4 weeks to fabricate) you could special order one (or more if you really feel the need) of these custom shirts that I did for a friend. They are a very nice, high quality polyester race crew type shirts, well made, and will make those around you know that you have more money than taste. If you are one of those types, then e-mail me to further your nonsense. Not available in stores, and for a good reason.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU, FROM ALL OVER, ARE STARTING TO MAKE THESE COLLECTIBLES!
Size Chart
(approximation via inches chest diameter- most sizes are “regular” in length, yet increase, usually, in length, as they increase in overall size (we’ll get that gut covered, yet). If you need to convert to metric I am hoping math is one of your strong suits. We just use “muumuu” philosophy and get something big enough to cover most all. Also note that every piece is handmade so there are no real good reasons for returns as it may upset some demigods. That being said, we can discuss forms of appeasement as the situations avail themselves (you got bigger than you thought, etc...).
small (possible wahine territory, for gods and goddesses alike) 35.5-37.25
medium (Kahuna) 37.25-38.5
large (big man in canoe) 38.5-40.75
XL (getting into Kamehameha turf, here) 40.75-42.25
XXL (Is that you, Papa Oom Ma-Mow-Mow?) 42.25-43.5
XXL (big Kahuna) 43.5-44.75
XXXL (you are a local god) 44.75-45
XXXXL (natives notice seismic activity when dancing) 45-48
XXXXXL (affect local weather patterns; occasionally mistaken for volcano) 48-mid 50 something
Note that sales tax, which can be quite a bite-out-of-the-coconut, is included (big good deal) in accordance with island laws.
International shipping may be more depending on location and frequency of boats from mainland.
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